I DID IT!

Halloween has come (and is almost gone) and I only had ONE candy.  That's right!  I had ONE Reese's Peanut Butter cup and stopped.  Part of my brain wanted to be very strong and not have any, but the other part of my brain thought it might burst if I didn't have just one. 

Last year I sat on the front porch after trick or treating with my husband and my kids, and I think (without exaggerating) I ate 25-30 Kit Kat's, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Twix, and Snickers.  I just remember sitting there unwrapping one right after the other and shoveling them into my mouth.  I don't even think I stopped to breath, or talk to anyone, or look around; I just sat there staring forward as if in some type of trance, and ate and ate and ate.  

That's the way Halloween always was for me growing up.  I would come home with my bag of candy, go in my room, sit on the floor, and binge.   This is why I've put up so many posts about sugar, and candy and desserts lately (birthdays and holidays are HERE!!).  I have not known control with sugar for most of my life because for most holidays, it's the sugar that controls me.  This "fat fight" journey is more than just losing weight for me, it's about breaking old and very deeply ingrained habits, and changing them out for new healthy ones.  I don't just want to lose 60lbs, I want to eat differently especially on holidays, because holidays can very quickly turn into every day for me.  Today was a huge step in self control and restraint.  I'm almost 37, it's about time I stop eating like I did as a kid.