Out of Sight, Out of Mind

It's only been in the past few weeks now that I've really taken a good look at the way I had been living, and have acknowledged the things I had been doing to make it seem like I wasn't getting heavier, or that I still looked the same as I always had.  The first thing I realized:  I hadn't really looked at myself in the mirror in a long time.  I would take a quick glance while getting dressed, but that was it.  I think it's because REALLY  looking at oneself forces you to be honest with yourself, and I wasn't ready  to do that.  AND it was because I didn't want to be sad.  I knew that if I spent a lot of time in front of the mirror and saw the way I actually looked, it might be unbearable.  The second thing I realized:  I was ignoring the fact that I had outgrown clothes that fit me.   How did  I achieve this?  All summer long I wore three things, a pair of maternity shorts, and two different cotton-stretch black skirts.  As long as those fit, I didn't even have to think about the jean skirt or pair of jeans that fit me in May but didn't fit in August.  As long as all my elastic waist band stuff fit, I was doing great (or so I thought in my "making up excuses way of thinking").  However, by the end of the summer, even my "safety" clothes were getting tight (even the maternity shorts).  I was also ignoring JEWELRY that no longer fit!  I had to take off my both my wedding band and an antique engagement ring that I wear on my other hand because my fingers were too swollen for them.  I mean, COME ON!  My WEDDING BAND not fitting should have been motivation enough to lose some weight!!!
So what have I done?  Well, I've started looking at myself in the mirror and have taken ownership of the fat on my body.  I REALLY want to SEE it!  Do you know why?  Because I want to remember how I look now, so that I can SEE the changes when the weight comes off.  I'm doing it so I can be proud of myself.  What else have I done?  I've set some goals.  The jeans and the jean skirt are not only going to fit, but they're going to become too big, because I bought both of them when I was already overweight to begin with.  And of course, I'm going to wear my rings again, because I deserve it, and my husband does too.